A Blonde Time Ago
by Jessica-X
Summary: AU. Madison Sinclair catches Veronica breaking into the student files again; a catfight ensues. But when V screams everything she's always wanted to say, Madison's feelings shift... more than either girl wanted.  F/, VM/MS; T for sensuality.
1. Chapter 1

A Blonde Time Ago (We Used To Be Friends...)  
By Jessica X

* * *

Veronica Mars femmeslash fanfiction, set somewhere near the end of season 2. I know, a lot of this is recapping and suchforth, but it seemed necessary to make the story flow right. This will seem like a familiar concept to those of you who've read my Libby epic, and I know, retreading old stomping grounds... but when the idea came to me, I couldn't let it go, much though I tried valiantly. Getting back to my roots , eh? A quick thing I wrote over the course of a couple of days.

Brief aside, this may be my final fanfiction, as I'm going to try (keyword: TRY) to focus on writing original fiction from now on. Which means, of course, once I grow weary of that I'll return... more likely than not, anyway. We'll see.

* * *

~ENTRY01

Well, this is another fine mess you've gotten yourself into, Miss Mars.

That's been my anthem for the past week. Every time I find myself with a spare moment that I could spend contemplating our true purpose on this big blue marble, instead I selfishly turn to my own microscopic problems. War, famine, Brangelina? Pish tosh - I have more important matters to tend! And, of course, this vanity would not be complete without the obligatory diary detailing every sordid moment that causes this phrase to return to the forefront. But if I vagued it up any more, this would read "Something happened, and then some other stuff, and some stuff happened because of the first stuff." Let's break it down, shall we?

I'm a moron.

Okay, still too indistinct. I now take you back to a terrible misstep I took last Wednesday. From there, the events will unfold in the manner you might have guessed. Cringe at will, dear reader - whom I sincerely hope is NOT my father. Seriously, Dad, for the sake of your ability to continue digesting food without pharmaceutical aid, if you're reading this I think you'd be much better off stopping right about... now.

o o o

Breaking into the principal's office has become something of a pastime for me. Some people have their neighborhood Frisbee tournaments or stamp collections - I have petty larceny. What can I say? Just a fun-time gal.

This time, it was Logan's fault. Naturally. He swears up and down that there's no way he could have stolen the lunchlady's undergarments as most of the school believes, because that fine afternoon he was pursuing an extracurricular activity. Why I should believe he voluntarily dishes out food at a homeless shelter - without his estranged father around to twist his arm - I have no idea, but he begged, pleaded... and waved a Benjamin Franklin beneath my gumshoe's nose. Thus I found myself elbow-deep in the filing cabinet. I had just snapped pictures of the permission slip (signed by whom? There's nobody left!) allowing him to be excused from class when I heard the door open.

"What are YOU doing in here?"

Yep. There again to screw everything up was Madison Sinclair. Brave face, brave face... "Hmm... would you believe, the backstroke?"

"Oh, you are so gonna get it this time, Veronica." Instantly smug. "Red-handed."

"Guess you don't believe me. How about the forward crawl? Is that more plausible?"

The glow that began to light up her face is illegal in five states, I'm fairly certain. "I'm calling the principal - no, wait, the police!"

"Go ahead," I laughed. How I had been awaiting precisely the right moment to reveal my weapon of mass destruction. "But just so you know... I've got an ace in the hole."

"Really?" She folded her arms over her pink cardigan, head shifting slightly to one side as she flipped her bottle-blonde hair over her shoulder. "And I should care... why?"

"Because I'm guessing by 'the police', you mean 'the sheriff.' And by all means, call him; he's a big part of the secret. And so are you! My, my, my, what a coinky-dink!"

Madison played a pretty good "dumb" - all that constant practice - but the way her face lost about a third of its color gave it all away. Which proves correct the old adage that there's no such thing as too much practice, I'd say. "I have n-no idea what you're talking about."

"Don't you? Well, then, I guess you'd better put in that call to... Don. Do you sigh that, or 'Sheriff Lamb' into his manly flesh as you snuggle afterward?"

"SHUT UP!" she suddenly screamed, flying at me. "YOU SHUT UP, VERONICA MARS!"

"Keep OFF!" I barked right back at her, holding her forearms up and away which was more difficult than I'd have guessed. Damn, but that prissy Oh-Niner builds up some lats during cheerleading practice! "Or I'll rig up the PA system to announce it!"

"No, y-you wouldn't- not even YOU can do that!"

"Try me!"

"ARGH!" she growled, knocking me to the floor. I felt a sudden, jarring pain shooting up my spinal column, and began to flash forward to how much I would be enjoying its friends over the course of the next several days. Madison didn't continue to feign ignorance, nor decry my (SUBSTANTIAL) abilities, but she did keep me pinned there while she ranted and raved. "I HATE you, Veronica! You are such a slutty, nosy, frigid BITCH!"

Irony, ladies and gentlemen.

"Better than being arm candy for such a shining example of just how sloppy and weak local law enforcement has become!" I retorted, gritting my teeth and fighting to throw her off. "Now if you'll excuse-"

"Not like your father was any better! I'm still not sure he didn't dream up all that stuff about Logan's dad just to make himself look good! And that doesn't erase what he did to the Kanes!"

And there you have it. My ugly mistake that I alluded to at the beginning of this entry was letting Madison push my buttons to this point. From here on in, nature was taking its course and I was being dragged along on a tow cable.

"Oh yeah?" I told her, voice low and guttural. "Well, it's not as if my father wasn't right. Because they thought their precious son was capable of bumping off his own sister, they covered everything up - and Sheriff Mars smelled it a mile away. All they had to do was admit that Duncan found her and leave it at that and things would've been hunky dory. Instead, they turned to their universal problem-solver: cash. Maybe, without that bogus lead they all but giftwrapped, Aaron Echolls would have been a suspect a lot soon-"

"BIG DEAL!" she snapped flippantly, smiling nastily. Oh, that rotten piece of... "Wah, wah, your dad messed up! And he made the Kanes suffer for his mistake! For months, they had to endure tabloid press, Duncan had to be put on meds!"

"He was put on meds because LILLY DIED! When you lose a sister, it takes more than a cookie and a smile to bounce back! I even considered them myself, what with the death of my BEST FRIEND and all!"

"Whatever. All I know is, the Mars family is a pimple on Neptune's behind. Glory-hog dad, dime-whore daughter. Bad apples."

Now I was laughing. "Think whatever you want, Madison. You always have. Now, I'd like to get up and get back to being a 'dime-whore', if you don't m-"

"You tried to shrug it off, too," Madison went on - WHY did she have to go on at all? I was quite done with the conversation! Oy... "Everybody knew your Dad was twisting the knife the way he was, making Neptune a joke on the map, but you kept trying to slip right back in with us like nothing happened. As if we'd forget! Then, to make matters worse, you showed up to Shelly Pomeroy's party - and you KNEW you had no business there!" Blood was rushing in my ears now, and I felt an odd prickling sensation run down my neck. Detonation in five, four, three... "Why do you insist on turning up where nobody wants you, and then making a spectacle of yourself the whole time? Slobbering all over anybody who'd let you! Only the neediest, grossest girl of low-breeding would ever stoop-"

"_YOU'RE THE REASON I WAS RAPED!_"

It came out as a primal scream. Which was unexpected, since I was under the impression I was only thinking it to myself until I noticed the ache in the back of my throat one gets when using one's outdoor voice. Honestly, I never intended to tell her. Oops. And too bad for Madison her response was only the slightest bit too flippant. I mean, I could see the shock pass through her face briefly, and her response was understandable, but if it had been tempered with one more eensy-weensy scrap of compassion, I might have left it at that.

"Wh... How do you figure that?"

"Because you gave me a 'trip to the dentist!" I continued, too angry to cry yet, but also too angry to stop. This vapid, stuck-up Brown-noser Barbie had the gall to even question me? "You know, that alcohol-and-loogie concoction you hand out to your enemies, right? Except this trip went arm-in-arm with the dose of GHB that Dick Casablancas intended for YOU! So instead of loosening up his girlfriend for a night of fun and frolic, I end up being putty in the hands of every single guy at Neptune High!"

"Bull!" she fired back, eyes round, brows above them sewn together at the middle. "I saw you making out with Dick, you were so into him - trying to steal him out from und-"

"Like I EVER had any designs on the Dickmeister!" I snapped sardonically. "Once they figured out I was powerless and defenseless, every guy at the party was only too ready to feed me shot after shot of God-knows-what, sending me farther and farther from the waking realm! I passed out on a deck chair and woke up inside the house with my panties missing, Madison! While I was unconscious, I was DEFILED! Because everybody wanted to blame ME for my dad doing his JOB!"

"Y- that's not- there's no way Dick tried to give me GHB!" she grasped at.

"Oh, he did. Logan had some, too; he scored a bunch for all his chums. To be used sparingly was the original intention, but I guess it all backfired, huh? Que sera sera! Veronica has to move on with her life, even though her dad lost his job, her mother ditched her, and her virginity went up in a puff of smoke - and she doesn't even have the Kodak moment saved in her memory banks! That's just the way the cookie crumbles, huh?"

Now Madison was staring at me in some bizarre amalgam of pity, disbelief and revulsion. It was clear she wasn't ready to deconstruct everything she was so sure about because, let's face it, most of it had to do with the Mars family being trash that deserved to be burned. World upended? Check.

That's when the wonderful sensation of being nude in front of a classroom crept in. Exposure. The only way I could continue to face each day was knowing nobody knew this much about me. So much for that.

Taking a chance, I hefted myself to one side and rolled out from under her straddling legs; she fell on her hip hard, wincing. Unsteadily, I dragged myself and my trusty camera toward the door. Just as I reached for the knob, she said in a shaky, would-be superior voice, "So... are you really trying to sell me on this? That I... that because I despised what your family represented and gave you a drink with some spit, you got played with all night like a rag doll, had your virgin seal broken... and you can't remember a thing? That totally sounds like a soap opera."

"I'm not trying to sell you on anything," I said softly. Everything ached inside, and I suddenly couldn't be any more forceful. I knew her eyes were glued to my back, but I didn't turn, just shrugged. "Ask a silly question, right? Nobody's believed me so far... oh, and your illustrious, illicit boyfriend Mr. Lamb just laughed when I went in and asked for the rape kit. He thought I made it up. Because, y'know, teenage girls never get raped. Not in America, land of the free, home of the unmolested! Never..."

The cold feeling of having no control began to settle over me again, and I knew I must be rid of the cheerleader's presence before it got any worse. Therefore, I turned the knob and saved myself, leaving her on the floor to chew on my choice of words.

o o o

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

A Blonde Time Ago  
By Jessica X

* * *

~ENTRY02

Yep. Awful times.

You really didn't think that was the end of it, did you? Because that's just an annoying brush with blondeness; hardly noteworthy in my less-than-enviable existence. Please. I've had more hard-hitting confrontations with my teddy bear.

No, this came to be something I regretted with my entire being two days later.

Thursday, I didn't see much of Madison. Or I did, but I heard absolutely nothing. That should have tipped me off, but I was content to enjoy the silence. No jibes, no half-formed cracks about my parentage? Sweet! It's like a stay-cation! Every time I passed her in the halls, she'd stare openly at me, as if confused or afraid - or both. It's possible. I may be pint-sized, but I intimidate pretty good when I've got my game face on.

But Friday, when I was on my way to lunch, I found myself in the Twilight Zone - and in this case, the hellmouth was located directly below the girls' bathroom. Now, why does that give me a thrill of deja vu? Nevermind. Anyway, I went in to dispose of some slightly-used lemonade, but when I exited the stall I caught Madison wedging the doorstop under the door - or trying to with her gaudy sandals without ruining her fresh pedicure.

"You lose a bet?"

"Huh?" she gasped, spinning around. "I, uhhh... what do you mean?"

"Well, you're locking yourself in the bathroom with Veronica 'Leper' Mars," I quipped, one of my fingers tapping my chin. "Either you're ready for social hari-kari at last, or you picked the wrong pony and now you have to pay the piper."

"Nice tongue-twister," she said, lip curling. "Are you going to start selling seashells by the seashore, or did you nab the Kane scholarship at last?"

"Ooh," I said with an icy smile. "I think you grazed me with that one, but it didn't QUITE cut to the quick as you intended. Now, what's this about?"

Madison looked at me for a long moment, then crossed the bathroom to stare into the mirror. Out of habit, I'm sure, she began fussing with her already-too-perfect hair, and said in a would-be casual voice, "You, um... really don't know who banged you that night?"

Banged. Such eloquence. "Does it matter?"

"It does matter," she whispered, shakily reapplying lip gloss. "I m-mean, for the rest of us. Because if there's a rapist running around Neptune High, then everybody's at risk, right? So..."

I drew in a deep breath. "No, I know. Or I found out, anyway. All too recently. But then, and for the entire year after, I had no idea. Could have been any male in the school. Technically, I was flying so high on wings of chemicals, it could have been you with a jelly implement and I'd never have been the wiser."

Madison looked almost scared, but she was trying to hide it (unsuccessfully) by checking her mascara. "Who... who was it? Are they still here at the school?"

Why was I still telling her these things, anyway? Because she was listening, that's why. For the first time I can remember since Lilly's death, an Oh-Niner was looking at me like they might be ready to believe a word that came out of my mouth. "Not anymore. But it turns out he was as doped up as I was, so... you could either say we raped each other, or that it was an 'accident'. Either way, I still don't remember the incident, and I doubt I'll ever un-repress a memory I couldn't form in the first place."

"But that's... I mean, I've never been raped, so I don't-"

"Let's say you don't join us anytime soon," I laughed. "We accept enough new members that we don't need your club dues to survive."

Suddenly, she whipped around to stare openly at me, jaw set and eyes wide, chest heaving. What a penetrating stare - I had no idea she'd ever looked at anyone like that before, as if they had more than momentary significance. "This isn't some horrible prank, right? I swear to God, if I find out I'm being Punk'd, your ass will be in a sling."

I clenched my fists together. "Madison... I would seriously hope nobody would ever joke about something like this."

Her entire face twitched. I suppose it's a bitter pill to swallow, learning that your sworn enemy, the school pariah, might only have been (IE, most assuredly was) in the wrong place at the wrong time, and did nothing to bring it on herself. So let's assume guilt and regret are at the top of the order, squirming under a blanket of confusion.

"You... Veronica, all this time..."

"Don't go all soft on me now, Madison," I said lightly, folding my arms. "I mean, we've got Senior Prom coming up, and how will it look if you're not defaming me behind my back as usual? Downright kooky; it would ruin the dance for the other hoity-toities."

She stuck her jaw out, staring off into the corner of the ceiling. "So you did look a little wasted when you were making out with Dick at the party, but... I mean, that could have just been booze. How do I know-"

"Ask your wind-up toy, Deputy Lamb," I shrugged. "I mean, even though he openly mocked my plight, the law required that he go through with the kit, and so it came to pass. Traces of drugs were in my bloodstream, and my hymen was recently destroyed. It's all on paper. Though I'm sure he'll swear I faked it somehow or something. Because fake rapes are so funny! Don't you think they're hysterical?"

The bathroom was quiet. In the distance, I heard a locker door slam. Madison had turned back to the mirror, clutching the edge of the countertop, not even pretending to preen.

"Listen," I sighed, placing a hand on her shoulder (against my own wishes). Again, I felt chills of exposure coming on, and I had to get the next part out before something else happened. "Just... don't spread this one around. It's- is it weird that I'd rather people think I'm a slut than know I was an unwilling participant? The pitying stares would be even harder to take." Then I caught the look on her face in her reflection. "Yep. Like that one."

"You... you're always digging up dirt on people," she whispered weakly. "Is it really true that... that you found the sex tapes? That Aaron Echolls killed Lilly because they were doing the nasty, and you found out and... and he tried to kill you, too? Just to cover his own ass?"

"Gospel," I sighed. "And if Hell is anything like being trapped in a refrigerator while surrounded by fire, then I'm going to be saying a few more prayers before bedtime from now on."

"And all because Lilly- and you wanted to make sure the killer got punished, because she was your best friend?"

"Right again. You know, the batteries in my Pete The Repeat Parrot are dead. Do you think I could borrow you for a little wh-"

Up to this point, I actually thought this was going quite well. Hey, Madison believes me - or something akin to believing me! Things are finally looking up in this town! Maybe I can spend the last half of Senior year not totally despising my lot in life!

And then Madison kissed me.

No, no, not the friendly, debutante peck on either cheek that she's probably performed on many of her other girlfriends and/or celebrities. Not a soft, caring press of lips into the crown of my head as she hugged me and stroked my back gently, whispering kind words and shushing my tears, like a childhood friend or big sister. These slightly-more-acceptable displays of affection were not in the cards.

Glossy, cinnamon-flavored lips were mashing into mine, kneading forcefully, coaxing and demanding more. Both of her arms were flung around me, pinning my own to my sides. So she kept going, and I really had no means of stopping her; I tried to pull away, to protest or even just rear back and headbutt her and give her a concussion, but all I could do was squirm slightly and wait for the nightmare to end.

It didn't end, actually. Five seconds in, I was wondering how long it would take her to figure out what she was doing - and who she was doing it to. A brief flash of insanity that would quickly snuff itself out. But after thirty or so, all I felt was fear and panic. And pleasure, on a purely physical level. Sure, I'm no big fan of who was doing it, but it's a nice sensation. I'm progressive enough to admit that just because it was a girl didn't mean I wasn't kissing someone. Not that the lack of actual pain made me want it to continue.

When we were almost a minute in, I felt tongue. That was what finally snapped me out of it: Madison Sinclair's tongue was invading my mouth. Much though it's been an eternity since I got that much action, I wasn't prepared for the full-on sorority experience.

"OW!" she screamed, hobbling backwards and clutching the foot I had stepped on. "That... that hurt!"

"I'm sorry," I breathed, sucking in ragged gasps of air, hands braced on my knees. "Madison... I had to stop you, that was... what were you doing?"

Both cheeks were so flushed that I could tell, even beyond the layers of foundation. Slowly, her breathing became more steady even though mine didn't, and she wiggled her toes, then let go of the leg. "It's okay."

Her hands were already on my shoulders when I whispered, "Wait, Madison-"

"What is it?"

"Why are you doing this?" I asked simply. "I'm..."

"I really don't know," she told me huskily. "But now, every time I look at you, I think about- about how badly I treated you, everybody in school treated you, and you didn't earn any of it, and- but I've been hating you for like, a year and a half! How am I supposed to just... just flip?"

"Oh, I'd say you flipped," I said with a quiet laugh, smiling - and when she kissed me again, I wished I hadn't smiled. Just as tender with an undercurrent of frantic; the very same vintage as before. Her breath tasted like cinnamon, too; what, did she bathe in the stuff? One of her hands found the back of my head and held it there; just like Logan used to do. My heart fluttered. She really was amazing at this.

What am I saying?

"OFF!" I shouted, pushing her into the counter and stumbling backward into the stall door. Luckily, it opens the other way, or I'd have fallen into the toilet, and that's about all I needed at that point. "Madison, thanks for your sympathy, but there are ways other than secret lesbian trysts for you to make it up to me! Maybe just a lovely variety basket of scented soaps?"

"Wha... oh GOD," she grunted, clutching her stomach. "Was I just m-making out with VERONICA MARS?"

Looks like that was how long it took to kick in... and for her to revert to the previous model. They say the good don't last too long. Furthermore, the way she was turning green and swaying and sniffling meant more fun was approaching in much the same way a train approaches the helpless damsel tied to the tracks. Well, I certainly wasn't going to lounge in the path of destruction. Gritting my teeth, I grabbed her shoulders, guided her into the stall and swept back her hair in one hand as she immediately began spewing breakfast into the porcelain bowl.

"That's it," I said in a consoling voice, even while trying to suppress my own gag reflex. "Get it all up, it's okay."

"Ew, ew, ew," she managed to sob between spasms. This wasn't my ideal way to spend my afternoon. "I can't believe I did that, how could I d-do that, what the hell?"

"Shh, don't talk, just breathe."

About two minutes later, she had calmed enough to ask for water. There was a bottle in the bottom of my purse; it had been tepid for days, and probably had a few exciting germs brewing by now, but I wasn't going to tell her that. She swished and spat, then chugged the rest. Then I flushed the former contents of her stomach away and began helping her towel off her face.

"Thanks," she said offhandedly, as if she were too preoccupied to throw her full weight behind it. Understandable.

"Anytime. Or, well, hopefully never again, but you know. Let's get you to the nurse."

Lunch had ended by the time we exited the ladies' room. Everyone was staring openly; why were Veronica Mars and Madison Sinclair leaning against each other at all? The fact that she looked like she was about to faint dead away seemed to lessen the shock value, but only a smidge.

"Thank you so much," she choked out with more volume than I expected, just as we were strolling past Dick and his group of equally-wealthy cronies. I even noticed a few of Madison's friends hanging around nearby, and their jaws dropped when she sobbed, "I owe you one!"

"Keep it down," I whispered, smiling. "People might get the wrong impression."

"Which impression is that?"

"That you don't want my head on a pike anymore. That'd be a shame, right?"

Madison shook her head slightly. "Veronica... just... just take me to the nurse's office, okay?"

Once I'd dropped her off there, I went back to class. Was I shaken up? You betcha. But there was no point going back to the girls' toilet and curling up in a ball. I mean, it's not like I asked to be semi-frenched by a pep squad bimbette, so I could feel no shame. Not exactly, anyway. Figuring out why it had happened at all could wait until after school.

o o o

But after school, instead of climbing into my LeBaron, stomping straight to my room and flopping down on the bed, I was accosted by her in the parking lot. Who'd have guessed it?

"I need to talk to you."

I flashed her my patented wan smile. "What is 'need' really? Because there are victims of hurricanes and earthquakes all over the world who-"

"You haven't... y'know, um, said anything to anybody, have you?"

The sheer terror in and around her eyes was more real than anything I'd ever seen in her privileged visage. She wasn't shaking or showing any other outward sign, and I could only attribute that to the time that had lapsed between the incident and my failed escape from our public educational facility. "I've said a great many things to a great many people. It's called speech; it's what happens when you sit down and think up a language, then decide which sounds correspond to which-"

"Come on, don't be like this!"

I sighed. "No, Madison. I haven't 'outed' you, if that's what you mean. Though given the way you treated Marlena when she was outed, maybe I should..."

Madison's stare turned icy. "Her lezzy love poem was about ME. Why shouldn't I be allowed to mock?"

"Because it's CRUEL," I fired back. "She had a crush, and she never planned on confronting you with it. But somebody strung her dirty laundry across the whole school, and you joined right in with the jeering. 'Cause that's just the kinda girl you are, right? You love a good round of mudslinging."

"You won't tell anyone," she said confidently, though now she was, in fact, shaking in her sandals. "Because to do that, you'd have to admit you were involved."

"Right." Now I was breaking out my heaviest sarcasm. "Because between my father being a laughingstock, Shelly's party, dating an alleged murderer and the Mammomax debacle, I'd be devastated if they all found out that Mizz Sinclair tried to jump my bones in the bathroom! Please. You don't even know what humiliation looks like yet, but he and I are old acquaintances."

I got a long, hard stare for my trouble. Her nostrils flared, and the set of her jaw declared that a screaming match was coming on. Instead, she whipped around and faced the other direction. "J-just... just don't tell anybody, or I'll deny everything and say you were coming on to me. They'll believe that before they'll believe... well, y'know."

"Yeah, YOU know. That silly truth that keeps getting lost in the shuffle around here. Usually at my expense."

But before she could reply to that, I was in my car and driving away. A clean getaway. Nice for once.

o o o

To be continued...


	3. Chapter 3

A Blonde Time Ago  
By Jessica X

* * *

~ENTRY03

Thanks to my spectacular exit, I had all weekend to stew in my own juices. Wow, that sounds really offensive when you think about it... ahem. So my father kept pestering me about my jumpiness and reluctance to eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but I gave no inch, and he took no quarter. Secret secure.

My inner monologuing brought me to some dark places, but mostly I was just offended. Here Madison had done something really unusual and consternating, and I had a feeling I was the one who was going to pay for it. Not her, the one who actually forced herself on ME. It would all come out in the wash that Veronica Mars had suddenly cropped up as bisexual, and the name of the Mystery Girl who she accosted wouldn't linger in their minds. It gives new meaning to Pirate "pride", doesn't it?

First period on Monday was completely fine. But when I went to my locker in between to switch out the books, I found a folded piece of notebook paper that spelled my doom in pink crayon.

"What's that? Love note?"

Of course, Wallace would be standing right behind me when this happened. It wouldn't be bad enough for it to happen in the first place. "I dunno."

"Well, it looks like a heart to me," he said with a half-smile. "Somebody got themselves a crush on little miss P.I."

Indeed. The entire piece of paper was taken up by a crayon-inscribed symbol of love (that in no way resembles the actual organ, which I always found to be amusing). Whoever had done it - three guesses, no cheating, now - had painstakingly filled it in, too.

"Great, this is all I needed."

"May be JUST what you need, Vee-Mars. Get back in the game! Don't stay all hung up on Duncan when he split the country, that ain't healthy."

I forced a pained smile onto my face. "And 'the game' is just what this is. No signature - no words, even. Somebody set the Wayback machine for kindergarten."

Then the bell rang. Wallace gave one of his trademark shrugs, waved, and swaggered off toward class. Must be groovy being a basketball superstar; nobody can think the worst of you for long. Me, on the other hand... what I really needed was to nip this in the bud.

o o o

It was dark in the janitor's supply closet. Didn't phase me one bit; I could wait all day. Luckily, it only took about twenty minutes for the door to creak open and a hesitant voice to whisper, "H-hello?"

"Hurry up."

Once she had slipped in and shut the door behind her, I turned on the light. "AHH!" she gasped, then patted the chest of her blue babydoll tee. "You scared the bejeebers out of me!"

"It was your turn," I whispered as I locked us in. "Okay. So... this?"

The minute the notebook paper was in front of her face, she bit her lip and avoided my gaze. "What's that you got there?"

"You tell me."

"Looks like somebody has a crush on y-"

"Madison!"

"Okay, okay," she sighed, fidgeting as she tried to look annoyed at being made to explain things. "Just thought it would be nice for you to find a love note in your locker for once. You weren't supposed to figure out it was from me."

"Riiiight," I drawled, leaning back against an exposed water pipe. "Because there's so many boys who send love notes in our school - let alone use crayon. What, were you fresh out of fingerpaints?"

"Oh, forget it!" she burst out, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "I knew you wouldn't understand!"

"Then explain it to me, okay? Were you really just doing your annual good deed, or..."

Now she pulled such a face that I cringed. "Get over yourself, Veronica Mars."

"No, no joking." I held up the note again. "Artwork and medium notwithstanding, this sends a pretty specific message."

"I'm n-not in l-love with you or anything, if that's what you mean!" The vibrato in her voice made her words far less comforting than they ought to have been. "Or attracted to you! So put away your spyglass, because there's no story here!"

"That's fine! I don't want you to be!" I glanced down at the paper. "And I didn't need a spyglass. It smells like cinnamon - and when I hold it up to the light..."

When I demonstrated for her, tilting it within close proximity of the naked bulb above our heads, she folded her arms across her chest. "Nothing gets past the great detective of Neptune High, does it?"

"Madison... I wouldn't have bothered confronting you if I hadn't noticed your lip imprint behind the crayon markings. Sealed with a kiss, huh?"

"Shut UP, already! God, try to do something nice for somebody and all you get are accusations!"

"Then why send this at all?" I'd had enough of her trying to turn it around on me. "If you're so over that moment of weakness in the washroom, why send me a lip-glossed love note? Madison, this... tell me what I'm supposed to think, here!"

"I just wanted to make you feel good," she whispered. "About getting a love note. And I thought maybe, if I actually put a little love into it, that I might be able to... kick those lingering..."

Her cheeks were beet red by now, makeup or no makeup. "Lingering?"

"You know, I can still feel your lips on mine. Your heart beating against my heart. Some disgusting poor girl who I hate, because she makes herself the enemy of everything I like and excel at, and somehow y-you're- you... oh, forget this, how can I say any of this?"

"Go on." Why, oh WHY did I ask her to continue? Glutton for punishment.

"That was the best kiss I've ever had," she choked out. "I... okay, so maybe Dick slobbers all over me like a sheepdog, and Don doesn't know how to move his lips, uh, AT ALL. But I've had the pleasure of a few other gentlemen, you know? I have - and THEY were good kissers. REALLY good, like silver screen skills. Somehow, though, they're complete amateurs next to that insane moment we had."

I felt like I was going to hurl this time. Madison couldn't mean what she was saying. There was no possible way in the universe! But the wrung-out expression on her face told the whole sad story; she really didn't want to be admitting this to me, but how could she keep it in? Awful. Awful, awful, awful...

"I... M-Madison, why? Why me, why kiss me at all?"

"Because I felt sorry for you." It was almost a growl, but the tears in her tone kept it somber rather than angry. "Yep. Sorry for everything you've had to go through the past couple of years. I'm sure that's what you wanted to hear. That it was a mercy kiss. But it's... not just that."

"What else could there be?"

And then her hands were on my body. All of this was so alarming and nauseating that I had no response prepared, and I merely pressed as hard as I could into the pipe, trying to back farther away when there was nowhere I could run to. Fingers glided up my collar bone and rested on either side of my neck, gentle, hesitant.

"You're so brave," she sobbed. "Coming here day after day where everybody thinks you're the slutty daughter of an inept cop, who dates rich boys and leaves them hanging when the going gets tough. I always thought you were just a horrible person, but... but knowing that none of it's true, and that you take it anyway, that y-you- you won't let the rumors drive you out... you are so strong..."

"Ohhhh-kay," I half-laughed, putting my hands up and between our chests to keep her from coming any closer (as if that were even possible). "You've exceeded your daily dose of uppers, I'm thinking! Maybe another trip to the nurse will-"

"I don't NEED another trip to to the nurse!" she whispered urgently, breathing hot air into my face. Cinnamon... "I... I loathe myself for saying this, b-but I think I need YOU, Veronica!"

And then she kissed me. Again. How many times was it going to take before this was over? That was bad enough... but when I tried pushing her away and failed, I began to feel a tinge of fear join the hurricane of emotions trying to wreck my psyche. She didn't want to stop.

"This is wrong!" I finally hissed in her ear when she began running her teeth along the side of my neck. "Y-you can't be- you have Lamb! I mean, Don! Oh God, I can't make out with somebody who's touched the Lambinator!"

"Don's a dud," she informed me nonchalantly. "Nice to have somebody who's been with a girl or two; so many of these high school boys are total newbies when it comes to the boudoir. But it's over; we broke it off. Neither of us were getting what we wanted out of it, anyway."

It was my poor fortune that I hadn't experienced anything this sensual since Duncan hitched a ride down to Mexico and out of my life for the foreseeable future. The actions Madison were performing on me began to awaken needs I had very adamantly buried; flames in unspeakable regions, if you catch my drift. "Why me? W-why do you want me? I'm a girl - and the girl you hate most in all the lands!"

"Because you are so... I don't know!" she sighed into my chest as she clutched at my behind. "You are everything I could never be if I tried - smart, talented, funny, level-headed. Knowing what I know now, every time I look at you I'm... stunned! I just feel blown away by you. Maybe I sound like some cheesy eighties flick, but you... you take my breath away!"

That phrase was a little dated, but I found myself completely out of snide comments about it when she kissed me for the fourth time in our lives... and I found myself reciprocating a tiny fraction of her advances. My previously-nonexistent desperation for physical intimacy overrode my reservations about the choice of partners. I could feel my hoodie being peeled away and landing on the floor next to her sweater as her lips explored mine, as her tongue invaded my mouth and found its opposite number, and I didn't mind much. But when her hands slid beneath the hem of the tank top I was wearing underneath, raking along my quivering stomach flesh, I found my voice again.

"This is wrong," I repeated. "Madison, we cannot go through with this. Tomorrow morning you'll wake up, and realize what happened in here, and you'll end up hating both me and yourself for the rest of our lives, and I won't be part of that."

"I want your body, Veronica," she whispered sadly, yanking her tee over her head. I made myself look away from her chest; normally, the sight of the perky mounds being reigned in by a lacy white bra wouldn't have affected me, but I knew she was trying to SHOW them to me, and I didn't want to indulge. "I've always had a thing for big, strong guys with broad shoulders, so don't ask me why now, but... you're really doing it for me. Not just for who you are, and how I admire you, but you're beautiful, gorgeous. Sexy."

"Enough!" I panted, pushing against her chest and feeling the gentle give of her bosom. My hands enjoyed it, even if the rest of me was appalled. "Please stop, I don't want to make this mistake with you, please!"

"Just let it happen," she sighed into my hair, a single hand slipping down the front of my jeans. "One time, then it's over. I promise!"

"And I promise I'll TASE you!"

"Goddamn it, Veronica, don't make me beg!" she whimpered, teeth clenched as she wrapped her legs around one of mine, burying her face between my neck and shoulder. "I don't even know why I'm doing this, but right now, in the moment, it feels so good and right and perfect!"

My lip quivered as the warmth from her crotch began to leech through my denim. "So feel it all you want, but- but don't drag me into this!"

"Are you KIDDING? I HATE the thought of how I feel!" A few seconds passed as she gasped for air, shaking all over. "I hate being attracted to a girl - and YOU, of all the girls in this freaking school! B-but I can't make it go away. I don't know how to make it go away!"

"LOOK."

Madison opened her eyes to see my trusty electroshock weapon inches from her face. "This should make it easy for both of us. Normally, I'd only give you three seconds, but because I know this is... weird, you get ten. And then, if you're still woman-handling me, you get shocked. Understand me?" She nodded, eyes wide like a deer standing in the middle of Route 66 at three in the morning. "Okay. One-"

The fifth kiss was more thorough and sweeter than the first four. Madison was trying to sell this, trying to win me over, to get me to drop my weapon instead of following through on my promise. And then...

How can I describe it? Something shifted. Not within me; I was still creeped out by the whole thing, yet slightly turned on for the indisputable reason that I was actually making out with somebody for the first time in forever. Mentally, I kept counting, and I know I was somewhere around seven or eight when all at once, I felt something disappear from her actions, causing them to clarify. Not that I can be totally certain since it's not my head, but here's how I interpreted it: all the ulterior motives for the kiss, like trying to get me not to blow the lid off this scandal, and proving to me that she doesn't hate me anymore, and purging those pesky lesbian feelings from her system... all that vanished. She let it all go and gave herself over to the moment. Which was scarier, because now all that was left behind was love and lust.

Feelings that pure always bowl you over.

My Taser clattered to the floor as I began kissing her back with a vengeance, as her tongue again found mine. I welcomed it; I showed her I could use my tongue like that, that I enjoyed its slick, fragile sinew. It even tasted like cinnamon in there! As her fingers curved down my hip, moved over the cotton fabric of my underwear and gripped one of my cheeks, I kneaded her ample chest with both hands, feeling the smooth, cool skin beneath my fingertips and rigid lace under my palms. My teeth sank into both sides of her bottom lip. She tried to take a step back-

And a mop came crashing down on our heads. We both spasmed and jerked apart, dazed. I was the first to laugh.

"So... what happened to that Taser shock?" she goaded, still laughing.

"Guess I lost count for a minute." Carefully, we replaced the mop, automatically smoothing out our hair and shirts and what have you. I then picked the weapon up and grinned at her. "I mean, if you want I could still zap you with it..."

"No thanks," she giggled, biting her own lip. Suddenly, she was doing that thing - you know, where you stare down at your shoes, but you steal little glances up at somebody's face? Whatever you call that, she was putting it into practice. "Um... so that was fun."

"That was terrifying," I gusted, dabbing at my forehead with a tissue. "But... yeah, I can't lie. I've done less pleasurable things."

"I think it's safe to say neither of us will be ratting out the other party now."

I grinned. "Yeah, I'm no longer the innocent victim of Madison's dyke-a-riffic adventure like I was scant hours ago."

One of her eyes twitched slightly when I used the word. You know which word. "Uhh, right. Listen, can we not refer to it as that? You make it sound so, so-"

"Cheap?"

"Cheap. And tawdry, and gross."

I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "You, uh... there were parts of you that felt kinda warm against parts of me. Just saying."

"Oh my God!" she hissed, staring down at me. "Your leg - do you see-"

"SHIT!" Frowning, I brushed at the stain idly with my tissue, but of course I made no headway. "What are people gonna think THAT is?"

"Ohh... just tell them it was some, uhh... some egg whites." Her head nodded, as if this were an actual answer that made sense. "Or maybe- maybe juice? They'll never believe water, that would just evaporate."

"Thanks, Madison," I gusted as I dabbed at it again. Futility in motion: that's me! "For soaking my leg with your 'oh-jay'. A real boon in my life and times."

Her face gave away that she was truly repentant. "I just hope there's not a strong breeze out there today, or somebody might see the stain I'M working with down here."

Smiling coyly, I reached beneath her skirt and pressed my hand into her panties, earning a loud gasp with a high squeak at the end. "Soaked through. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you might have enjoyed this seven minutes in heaven."

"Veronica..."

What was I doing? I had lost all control of my person. But my hand - all on its own with no coaxing from my brain, I tell you - went to my mouth and licked the slight traces of Madison from the fingertips. Girls really are made of sugar and spice, you know. "Mmm..."

The rouge in her cheeks should have signaled she was going to blow like St. Elmo. "W-we don't have to stop, if you want. I... I'm fine with doing more. I want to do more with you."

"No," I said adamantly, brandishing my Taser. "We stop. For now... or maybe for good, but my poor head isn't ready for more right now. Of that I am certain."

"Then... can you leave me in here to finish myself off?"

I gaped at her. "MADISON!"

"It's SOO BAD!" she forced out, quivering. "Not with any of my old boyfriends have I needed it like this, it's... are you some kind of demon? Like, a succubus or whatever, naturally good at sending poor, unsuspecting lovers into the throes of passion? Please, PLEASE give me all you got!"

"Clemmons in a tutu."

Madison blinked, eyebrows knitting. "Uhh... pardon me?"

"Just trying to bring down the heat in this room," I laughed, and she smiled shyly. "Come on, I... you get that I'm not going to be graduating from pining over a lost boyfriend to full-on sapphic shagging just because you gave me a crayon heart, don't you? That's... I'm..."

"No, no, it's okay," she whispered, sounding only the tiniest bit hurt. "This is moving too fast. For both of us. You're totally right here, sorry. But... call me."

She said that so casually, like we were only postponing this instead of canceling. "What?"

"If you're dad's out of the house tonight, call me," she said with a mischievous smile. "I'll come over and we can conduct a few experiments."

"Color me skeptical, but what kind of-"

"You can strip down to your birthday suit and I'll see how every inch of you... tastes."

My heart pounded. Boy, did she mean every word! Her tongue was running over her lips - and normally, I'd be all judgmental, seeing her trying to stoke my fires. The flirty skank. But in this case, I could tell she wasn't quite aware she was doing it, or of the way her fingernails were digging into her upper arms. She really was centimeters from the edge. All I had to diffuse this was my winning sense of humor, so you better believe I leaned heavily on it.

"Throw in a pillow fight and set up a webcam, and I think we'd fulfill the male fantasy for all of Neptune High."

"Males not invited," she snorted, an involuntary shiver running through her. For a brief instant, her hand reached out for my face, but she saw me flinch and pulled back. "It'll be a night for just us girls. Girlfriends."

Now as she turned toward the closet door (oh wait; haha, I just realized the irony), I found myself taking in the taper of her legs, her trim ankles... why was I checking her out? Of course, I've only ever been intimate with one person in my life. Or two people, depending on how you define intimate . It's not as if I have some huge string of men that comprise a standard for what I look for in a romantic partner. Still, Madison was nowhere NEAR what I look for... and yet, I liked what I saw. Once you got past her bitchy front and her nauseating affluence, she was pretty hot... and apparently, she could be decent when she felt like it. Maybe there was something there after all.

Wait a minute, here. What am I saying? Me and MADISON? It will never work - not even as an experimental fling! The girl who spat in my rum and Coke (drugs or no drugs) and thought a midnight liaison with Don "The Complete And Total Jackass" Lamb was an acceptable decision wants to add me to her list of conquests? No way! Not in this lifetime!

"Madison..."

"Yes, Veronica?" I didn't like the way she said my name now. It felt like the way Logan said it; inspiring weakness within my knees. But Logan was in the past, and I was in the here and now with a sexed-up Sinclair.

"You're about to show your honeydews off to all the kids out there."

It deflated all the air out of her exit, which is what showed me that was what she'd meant to do; leave me wanting more, hoping to entice me into asking. Giggling stupidly, as if I'd caught her listening to Backstreet Boys or something, she bent down and picked up her shirt and sweater, holding out the former. "Put it back on me?"

For some reason, I did. The moment her head popped out of the neckhole, her lips were brushing mine again, tender, reserved... dare I say gentlemanly? If that makes any sense at all. This was working a lot better than her would-be exit had.

"Why can't I resist the bad ones?" I breathed when she released me.

"I'll be good for you," she replied with tears in her eyes. She was actually this serious? "You deserve no less, I... it's how amazing you are that makes me want you, but I won't let you have me if I'm not good enough. Maybe I sound like some inspirational speaker hawking a book, but Veronica, please help me be a better person."

"Definitely," I said in a low voice, grinning. "Yep - definitely sounds like today's message from a motivational calendar. Like Logan's voicemail - is this just an Oh-Niner thing that I'm unaware of?"

"Shut UP already!" she said, pinching my cheek; my own laughter faltered slightly. That was a drastically intimate gesture, didn't she realize that? But she was already barreling on ahead. "You're resisting because you don't like who I am, right? So help keep me in line. Command me. Reshape me into the girl you can love."

Ooh. That was tantalizing. But in order to be given the keys to Madison's every action, I'd have to hook up with her, wouldn't I? I couldn't do that, could I?

Her lips were on my collarbone.

Could I?

"Try me on for size," she breathed shakily, forehead resting on my shoulder. "Please try. One chance. I'm not totally evil, unless... do you really think I'm so far gone you can't save me?"

"I shouldn't have to 'save' you," I couldn't help but reply. "You should be able to do it on your own, Madison. And... I'm kind of straight!"

"Me too," she half-laughed. "From where I'm standing, neither of us are following the rules. We'll help each other."

"And what, pray tell, do I need help with?"

When she looked into my eyes, streaks of tears ruining her mascara artistry, mouthing such a simple phrase like "being loved", I melted into a oddity of amorphous goo. In my defense, who knew our Pirate-Point-earning student council queen could be so gosh-darned romantic? Nobody had ever said anything like that to me before and meant it - not Duncan, not Logan. Funnily enough, Troy had come pretty close, but obviously he'd never meant a single word he'd said to me in our lives. So guarded to protect his drug-pusher interests.

But Madison's guard had vanished when she started hitting on me; she wasn't as hard to read as Troy or Logan. Understanding her was next to impossible, but emotionally she was more or less an open book.

"Are you going to break my heart?" I challenged after our... what was that, the sixth? Seventh kiss? I think it's more than just a fluke when you lose count.

To my surprise, she stepped back from me, hands shaking, throat working to battle back the dryness that had crept up on her. For a long time, she just inspected me, still crying, still wrestling with herself. Finally she tried to smile at me as she said, "Good thing your father works with law enforcement. He can shoot me if I do, and... I'll deserve it."

That sounded alarmingly suicidal. "Try that one more time?"

"You are... so amazing," she sniffled. "You've been kicked around by everybody in Neptune for too long, and I swear, here and now, I won't add to your misery. But you can't expect me to change overnight. Guide me in the right direction. Show me the path of Mars, or whatever."

"Then say it."

"What?"

"You've gotta say it. It's tradition."

After a second or two, she broke into a genuine smile. "'Veronica, I need your help.'"

"THERE we go! Those magic words our class lives by!"

o o o

To be continued...


	4. Chapter 4

A Blonde Time Ago...  
By Jessica X

* * *

~ENTRY04

So thus endeth the story of the WEEK FROM HADES. The rest, as they say, is history. Or is too mortifying to print every detail, so... yeah, sorry. Get your rocks off somewhere else, pervwad.

Alas, there is more to tell, so I came back to update this wretched book of sordid affairs. You want to know how it all turned out? Fine. Here we go - but I'm only giving you a rough outline. Like I said, if you want the naughtier bits, flip to Skinemax.

We spent the next few days getting to know each other, like any reasonable couple. Nobody was the wiser, except maybe Wallace - he knew something was up, but never figured out what. We found stolen moments to make out - a LOT - but it never progressed beyond that stage.

About two weeks before Senior Prom, she started to revert to the Madison I knew and despised. And after one or two tries to get through to her, I gave up and kicked her to the curb. It took only two days for her to show up sobbing on my doorstep, causing my father great alarm. My instincts were to turn her away, but that would have raised more questions than I thought wise, so I guided her into my room and got her a glass of water. Things got... intense. But she was so broken and forlorn that I took her back, of course. To be honest, I wanted her back. I'd been miserable without her.

Isn't that nuts? It took no time at all for me to get hooked on Vitamin M. Even now, with all the time to reflect on it... it's ludicrous.

Then Madison truly surprised me. I'd thought we were getting off to some incredibly lukewarm reboot of our relationship, but on Prom night she showed up at my doorstep with the prerequisite limo, wearing - get this - a tuxedo. Black with deep red tones. It was so trite and lez-traditional, but I found myself touched by the effort. She gave me a corsage, and my father shot us some weird looks, but said very little; he's always been rather progressive like that. So yes, we blew everyone's minds when we walked into the gym together, arm in arm, dewey-eyed. Van Clemmons didn't approve, obviously, but I like to think by now he knows who Veronica Mars is well enough to keep his opinions to himself. And Madison? The entire night, and every night thereafter, she's been a perfect angel.

Okay, so you know that was a bald-faced lie. But she has kept the diva posturing to a bare minimum for my sake, which I appreciate on many levels.

To say the entire student body was shocked would be like saying the straight-to-video American Pie sequels are a teensy step down in quality from the original trilogy. Dick's catcalls fell on deaf ears; they were expected. When it comes down to it, he's a pig, but a harmless pig, you know? Everybody else tried for a while, but about the time we started dancing together and they saw we were serious, they had a lot less to say. Kylie and Marlena gave us a resounding thumbs up; I'm sure they were glad to no longer be remembered as Neptune's sole lesbian couple. I spent a lot of time avoiding Logan and Wallace since I didn't want to hear their thoughts on the matter. In Logan's case, because they would be irritating. In Wallace's case... well, what he thinks means a lot to me.

But later, when I offered to get us some punch, Mr. Fennel caught me by the table.

"So... this some angle you're working? Cause either you're puttin' on a hell of a show out there, or..."

"Or it's for real," I finished for him flatly.

"Madison, though? I mean, I thought she was the Princess of Darkness and so on."

"She is. Was. I mean, she's changed, a little. Now she's..." And being that I couldn't go into detail without lighting up like a Christmas tree, I stopped there.

"Well, color me flabbergasted," he laughed. Silence fell deep and heavy across us, but he finally nodded and said, "That's cool, though."

"You're sure?" I said in an undertone. "If you're freaked-"

"Oh, I'm freaked," he confirmed with a nod. "Got some mental images to work hard on erasing. But... hey, if it looks like you two got a good thing goin' from here, then it's probably true. Who am I to question why?"

"Ours is but to do and die," I finished. "And I am so glad we're almost out of this school, 'cause I might actually die from ridicule if I had to endure the fallout from coming out for very long."

"Glad to know my special lady isn't ashamed of me."

Horrified, I whirled to apologize to Madison, but she was smiling. A huge, blissfully indifferent smile. "R-really?"

"I figure I had this coming," she said in a quiet voice while fiddling with her pocket square. It really was a dashing tux. "What with how I treated everybody else."

"I confess myself taken unawares," Logan put in as he approached, slight grin already in place as he brandished his champagne flute of fruit punch - probably spiked. "In this... grossly unforeseen situation, I would have expected Miss Mars to procure the coattails. She never fails to surprise me."

"Thanks for your two cents, Echolls," I sighed. Secretly, I knew his snide remarks could be ten times worse, and was thankful.

"Anything to help the destitute. Speaking of donations, thanks for clearing up that little matter earlier. Check's in the mail." Then he turned on Madison. "And my, Mister Sinclair. Figured you'd rather give up a kidney than miss a chance to wear your prom... dress. But this does show us who wears the pants in the family."

"Beat it, jerk," she hissed. "Doesn't Veronica have enough strife without your ugly mug butting its way in?"

Logan made a wounded face, placing his free hand over his heart. "Gentlemen. Lady." And then he was gone.

"What fun we're having," I moaned.

"Wow," Madison whispered. "And I used to be like that. I would have laughed at us along with him. It's... like everything's inside-out. Alternate universe style."

This 'irony' of theirs! It just keeps coming!

"Well, I think your tux is fly," Wallace said with a courteous nod. "I mean, unless you want me to dis it, since you're supposed to be in a dress. Really unclear on the rules here."

"Why ARE you in a monkey suit?" I asked her. Burning desire for the truth at the root of all things doesn't take a lunch hour, I'm afraid.

"To prove a point." A quick shrug as she picked up one of the finger sandwiches, sniffed it, and put it back. What can I say? She's a work in progress. "Because I was acting like a total bitchmonster a few weeks back. Yes, I wanted to wear a dress really badly to prom, everybody knows it. I've had it picked out since homecoming. But I thought... if I showed up dressed for you and not for me, maybe you'd see that... I mean it. I'm in this for real."

When the timing was right, she always knew just what to say to make me fall to pieces over her.

"And I'm really, REALLY sorry for trying to pay for everything on our dates - I swear I wasn't trying to rub your nose in my money. You know that now, right?"

"You tried to buy me a CAR on one of them," I insisted.

"But your LeBaron is such an old- I- I mean, that was bad," she said, pouting. "Bad Maddy."

One of my eyes narrowed at her. "Yes, bad Maddy. No biscuit."

"Y'all are some kind of ridiculous," Wallace laughed. "Think I'm gonna hit the dance floor and leave you two being, uh, 'cute' back here by yourselves. Holla at me later, Vee?"

"Don't worry about me. Work your mojo. Party like it's 1999!"

o o o

Endless hours of ridicule and lame slow-dancing later, we found ourselves at the Neptune Grand. I was willing to wait for her to tell me the coast was clear, but she dragged me right up to the counter with her as she requested the room key. One brief, disbelieving look later and we were headed up to a penthouse suite.

"Ooh, champagne," I cooed, delighted as I immediately divested myself of the inch-high heels that were causing my feet to throb unceasingly. "And it's not from a box! Such splurging!"

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said sarcastically. "Did you WANT the one from the box? I'm sure there's a drive-through liquor store somewhere nearby..."

"Hardy har ha-"

Instantly, she was all over me, groping, shucking me like an ear of corn. As in, I blinked, and we were on the bed with half our clothes on, Madison struggling out of her cummerbund. This was it. I was going to lose my virginity - or, well, lesbirginity. Trust me, it really is like starting ALLLLL over.

"Wait, wait," I bade her, laughing and gasping for breath. "I'm... not sure I'm ready, Madison, what if-"

"You've been holding me back on this forever," she reprimanded as the sash joined her jacket and my dress on the floor. When she began sliding off her slacks, her face took on a slight reddish tint as she whispered, "Please, don't make me wait for you any longer. It's killing me."

"Oh, well when you put it THAT way..."

"Every minute of every day, I want this. Want to be completely one with you. We've been dating all this time, and we don't even know if the sex is any good! I mean, do you want to be trapped in this relationship with me if I can't get you off?"

"You get me off all the time," I informed her softly, causing her breath to catch and her hands to slip off the bow-tie she was trying to unknot. "With your hands, your lips. THROUGH the clothes, Madison. How could we possibly fail now?"

"Exactly; we won't fail. Because I've got Veronica Mars on my side. But before we do this... I wanted to, y'know. Actually apologize, and not just imply it."

"Huh?"

"The trip to the dentist."

"Stop, right now," I hissed at her. I was riding high on arousal, filled to the brim, and she wanted to bring us back down to reality. Take note, boys and girls: your first time is no time to dredge up skeletons. "Come on, I'm really not feeling a brief discussion about-"

"Even if you're the only one who ever hears it and understands what happened, and how I feel. I'm sorry, Veronica." Her lip quivered as she stroked my face gently, passed the hand over my ornate hairstyle. "Sorry I had any hand in what happened that night. I wish I'd just drank the GHB myself and saved you a lifetime of grief. But I couldn't do this without telling you. You get that, right?"

"Well, I guess love really is the new 'feel awful'," I told her, bracing myself. Sharing and caring time. In my defense, she started it. "Because I have one last bombshell to drop before we follow through and, uh, 'cement' our relationship." Band-Aid, Band-Aid, ripping off a Band-Aid... "You're not actually a Sinclair."

"Come again?"

"Maybe later," I quipped feebly. "Turns out you're a Mackenzie. Surprise!"

Madison's mouth worked with that for a moment while I slipped out from under her, grabbed the champagne and started chugging. Burp. Ahh, alcohol: the offensive stuff that makes everything happy and shiny again. Or attempts to do so.

"Wh... how can you... Veronica, what do you mean?"

"Okay." I took a deep breath, then let it out slowly as I sank down next to her on the bed. "Remember that birthday party you had? You know, when Mac and I crashed, and you found her in the library and told her to skedaddle?"

"Mac? Oh, the nerdy girl who's always hanging around in the computer lab. What about her?"

"She was there to... to steal a look at her biological parents. And sister."

"B-but- wait a minute." Madison had this shrewd look on her face now, one I've seen millions of times. It's the one clients get when they think they know better, or suspect we're hanging them out to dry. "This is some kind of crazy prank of yours, huh? Where's the hidden camera?"

"Why do you keep thinking Ashton Kutcher writes my script? Believe me, I'd never tape this. You and that 'nerdy girl' were switched at birth. All, um, four of your parents went in together on a cozy little lawsuit and sued the hospital who handed out babies to any parent who walked by. Bilked them for a huge wad of change."

At first, she started to nod. Then her eyes somehow actually got bigger as she turned to me, trembling in her button-up shirt, boxers and black socks. Even the underwear - she sure went all out. "Wait. Are you- then Mac was supposed to- and I..."

"Remember all those cracks you made about the genetics of the less fortunate members of the Neptune student body? It's kinda funny, because you yourself..."

"I'm really a freaking MACKENZIE?"

"Oh, Maddy," I cooed, caressing her arms and trying to calm her down already (and failing; it was evident). "It's been kind of nagging me for a while now. Didn't you deserve to know? But Mac didn't want anybody else to know. Geez, her parents still don't know she figured it out. So now that we're k-kind of an item, I told myself it wouldn't be fair if we take it to the next step as life-partners without you knowing the truth about your own life. Since it's not fair for some completely uninvolved girl to have found out before you did, anyway."

"How DID you find out?" she asked, ice crystals lingering on her words. "Veronica Mars has to dig up everything, right? So typical."

My heart felt like it was splitting in half. To this day, I still don't know how Madison became so important to me in such a short time, but I couldn't stand to see her hurt this way. "Not this time. Mac asked me to look into her past. That's the only reason, I swear."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." I sniffled a little, but tried to bite it off as quickly as possible. "And she almost told you, you know - out of anger, when you were being particularly nasty to her. Figuring that's about the worst way to get news like that, I headed her off. Not that it's much comfort now, I'm guessing."

Madison took out the bobby pins holding her hair back in the sleek, somewhat-manly hairdo that had gone so well with her tux, allowing her bleached ringlets to cascade down her shoulders. She wiped her eyes, she stared off toward the balcony. "My mother, my father... sister, they never said- I don't really look like either of them, and I always wondered, and the whole time..."

"Problem is, they didn't find out immediately. It took four years for the truth to come out, and by then both families had grown attached to their children, so they decided to keep you. Isn't that good to know? That even when they had the chance to trade you back for their biological daughter, they couldn't because they loved you too much?"

"I have another set of parents." I couldn't tell if she was glad for this information or not. "The Mackenzies... they were supposed to have raised me, weren't they? I'd be... poor. Oh my God, I'm a poor girl living a life I w-was never meant to have. Why... why didn't Mac demand to be switched back? She could be driving my Mercedes right now..."

"Okay, well... I'm gonna go."

That caught her attention; she immediately looked up at me with wide, disbelieving eyes. "Go? Why, we're- why would you go?"

"Because I think I just ruined your life," I half-laughed. "And, um, I'm betting you'd rather be absorbing this alone than having me lingering in the background. So... I'll see you in school."

"You can't just dump this on me and split!" she snapped - then immediately turned away. "I d-didn't mean it to come out like that, b-but... but you have to stay. This isn't something I can deal with by myself."

"Are you sure? You want the wicked Mars at your side in your darkest hour?"

"Duh."

When she flung herself at me, I wasn't sure whether to duck or pucker up. But then I found myself pinned beneath her as she curled against my side, nestling her cheek between elbow and breast. "I'm... I'm living in a house full of strangers," she whispered. "And across town, there's a man and woman who created me, and we've never met. The nerdy girl, it's- it's almost like we're sisters, right? Since her parents are my parents and m-mine are hers. God, everything's going to hell. C-can't you see that I need you right now?"

I kissed the top of her head. That shampoo of hers... coconut... "Don't forget that evil and misfortune follow me around like lost puppies. You could find a better sidekick."

"Even if we get dragged through the mud at school on Monday, I'm so there," she breathed. "I deserve all this for being the priss I was. Especially since I was hardest on you in the first place. Hopefully, once my punishment is over, you'll still like me - and then we can get to the 'happily ever after' part."

"It's the best part, isn't it?"

"Weird, huh?" she sighed, rubbing my stomach through the sheer silk of my slip. Weird is watching her delicate, french-manicured fingers glide over me and enjoying it the way I was, but I forced myself to focus on her words. "What if... what if we HAD been switched back, or never switched at all? If I was a Mackenzie... maybe I wouldn't have grown up to be so, so-"

"Trashy?"

"Thanks so much." But her tone gave away that she wasn't really angry. "Maybe... I don't know. Maybe I would have been a decent girl if I hadn't been so spoiled by all my money. Or maybe not."

"You ARE a decent girl," I insisted as I squeezed her shoulder, feeling the crunch of over-starched fabric. "Sometimes it takes a mirror."

"A mirror? Oh... You mean seeing how badly I kicked you around, when what you really deserved was compassion and support. That kind of 'mirror'. Yep... you made me see that I was maleficent."

"You mean that you were wicked and cruel, or the Disney character?"

"Both, I guess," she laughed, hugging me tighter, snuggling down onto my body. One of her socked feet stroked along my nylon-encompassed one as she breathed, "God, I love you. What makes you stay with me, anyway?"

"The way you dote on me. It's hard to find somebody who puts on a good swoon." When she pinched the skin covering my ribcage, I shrieked and giggled, "Okay, okay, it's because you're hot!"

"Damn right I am. I can still claim that one."

"Something... I don't know, Madison. But when you started coming on to me, even though I hated your guts... it was like you meant it. Your motives suddenly became so pure and unadulterated, and I could sense that- that somehow, even though you wanted me filleted as badly as I wanted you drawn-and-quartered, when you pulled a one-eighty and started liking me, you were totally committed from the start. I don't know how I could tell, because I usually suck at the whole empathy deal, but I could. Instantly. It's a miracle I fought you off that first time in the bathroom, now that I think about it."

"Veronica."

Now she was crawling on top of me again, and my heart that had calmed itself began picking up speed. This was it. "Yes?"

"It truly is a miracle you fought me off. But this time, I'm shooting for another kind of miracle."

As two hands slid the hem of my slip up my thighs, nails leaving thin white trails behind them, I managed to choke out, "I love you."

"You think you love me NOW," she said with a grin - probably thinking I didn't notice the way her lips trembled for a moment after I'd spoken. "Wait until we make history."

"Oh, I think this has been done before, hasn't it?"

"Nope." My pulse quickened as she passed her hands over my chest, crystalline eyes filling my vision. "I'm going to be the first woman on Mars."

o o o

Over the course of the next two hours, we proved that a sub-par sex life would not be a factor if we ever broke up. It was wild, passionate, and dare I say... educational. Though we started off so gentle and hesitant, almost afraid, once our reservations faded it turned out that Madison's a real animal. After that, it would be a long time before I could smell or taste either cinnamon OR coconut and not start to feel a slight stirring downstairs.

So in conclusion, yes, I'm a moron. But I'm a moron who's happy. Madison and I are still together, and she's transferring into Hearst to be with me. That's dedication.

And the whole baby mix-up thing? Well, Madison went over to meet the Mackenzies, and they were nice to her and everything, but she decided not to pursue any further relationship with them or their son. She says it's too weird and awkward, since she's so used to her own family (relatively speaking). She's hung out a little with her adoptive sister since then, as well, deciding she was lucky to have one instead of loathing her presence. Even she and her mother are less distant than they were, but it'll be a long while before they have anything like a mother-daughter bond.

On the other hand, if you'll believe it, her and Mac have become such close friends that at times, I find myself vaguely jealous. Which is silly, I know, but I can't help it. Sharing that experience of feeling like you're out of place in your own family was an easy starting point for the two of them, I think. But I don't worry about them being alone together or anything. As Madison always says to me, they're more or less sisters. Mac even goes so far as to call me her "sister-in-law", since she thinks of Madison and I as being married. I see no reason to ask her to desist.

Seriously... it's good that she's not suffering too much after what happened with Cassidy. Mac's been through enough. Having Madison around has really gone a long way toward that, so I encourage it wholeheartedly. She deserves a brand new sibling.

Tonight, I'm cooking Madison a veal scallopini that I only know how to replicate because I TiVo-ed something on the Food Network. For about a week now, she has been insisting she was one hundred percent vegan, but last night I caught her literally eating Spam out of the can. Her face was so red, but we both laughed at her (not with her) together. Therefore, since she fell off the wagon anyway, and I know she has a true love of both Italian food and mushrooms...

Oh, and that piece of notebook paper with the heart on it? I had it framed and it now hangs in my bathroom. Why the bathroom? Well, maybe you can guess if I give you a minute. But every now and then, I take it out and look at it... and I can still catch the vague hint of cinnamon.

THE END

(please r&r)


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